From the start he made a big deal about birthdays. I'm not a birthday person, I don't like the attention and in particular the receiving of presents makes me incredible awkward. But from the beginning - he loved birthdays. We were "officially" going out 2 days before my birthday - he booked premier tickets to the Lion King in London.
2 months later it was his birthday - I decided to take him to Alton Towers. I'd never spent so much on a birthday present, but I didn't care. He's still going on about it. And so the present battle was in full swing.
This year, I had to do well. I couldn't take him away to the hotel I had picked until he was finished his assignments so I endeavoured to find shoes. The kind of shoes Jedward would wear - don't ask he loves them. He's also a size 11, which makes shoe-buying even MORE awkward.
I found an AMAZING pair on a certain sports site, shelled out for the express shipping and set up an account with a forwarding service in the UK as the company didn't ship outside of Merry Ole' England. When I heard no word as to where my order was a chain of e-mails between me and their ridiculous online "Contact Us" service. It went something like this:
Hi, where are my shoes?
Your shoes? Let me see ...Oh wait, you're in Ireland - sorry, cancelled!
Eh, I know I'm in Ireland, it was being shipped to England!
TALK TO ME!
Oh sorry about that, go ahead and re-order them.
Eh, what?! Not likely. You fix it!
Oh we're sorry this happened, send us your new order number and we'll refund you the express shipping cost.
Oh wait, you're billing address is Irish too - no can do.
YOU GUYS SUCK!!!
God bless Asos. I found an exquisite pair of Puma high-tops designed by Alexander McQueen. Laser card, Express shipping, Done. It'll be delivered on Monday ... his birthday is Sunday. Damn, so close.
Text Mum on Monday:
Did that package arrive ok?
They called when I was out. Can pick it up from the depo tomorrow
... just shoot me